Mother's Day Weekend

We had a wonderful Mother's Day weekend! Yesterday (Saturday), we went to Ethan and Erin's baseball and softball games. The weather was really beautiful. It was nice and sunny yet breezy and not too hot. We stuck an umbrella on Logan's stroller and set him down on a blanket in the grass. He absolutely loved just chilling out on the blanket and looking around at everyone. Of course, he kept rolling over from his back to his stomach. At one point, he was laying half on his stomach and half on his side, peeking out from a small space underneath his stroller at some boys throwing the ball, when one of Jeff's friends noticed him "spying" on the kids and popped his head down on the other side of the stroller, surprising Logan, who laughed out loud and gave a huge grin of delight. Maybe you had to be there to appreciate the humor, but it was a pretty priceless moment.

Then this morning, when Zack gave me Logan so I could nurse him, I noticed Logan was gripping something tightly in his left hand, something that looked suspiciously like a Brighton jewelry bag! It took several minutes for Logan to actually loosen his grip and decide to give it to me. That boy is strong! I was so excited to discover a beautiful "MOM" necklace, which I had actually seen in their catalogue and admired. Thank you Baby Logan! Today was so perfect. I love being his mommy so much! Soon after, Zack went to Douglasville to spend time with his mom, and Logan and I met my parents at the club for a super yummy brunch. Of course, Logan decided he was hungry too, and so I nursed him while I ate for most of the meal. The club gave all mothers cute little baggies filled with a bar of expensive looking scented soap inside. Afterwards, we took some pictures outside overlooking the golf course. While I waited for Zack to get home, Logan, Mom, Maddy and I sat outside in the driveway, in the shade, simply enjoying the amazingly beautiful day, and later on, Logan napped in his stroller while I went on a peaceful one hour walk around the neighborhood. Walking with Logan and Maddy is one of the highlights of my day. When Zack came home, he had a gorgeous bouquet of sunflowers for me (my favorite flower), and tonight, he gave me a sweet card from Logan and from himself. Logan actually wrote in his card himself, since Zack put the pen in Logan's hand and guided him by holding onto his arm. I will save the cards for the rest of my life! For dinner, Zack made me one of my favs- grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, simple yet delicious! Today was such a special day. Being a mommy to Logan is the best thing I have ever done and my most amazing accomplishment. I am so fortunate to have such a wonderful mom myself, and I hope I can as good a mom to Logan as she was and is to me. She taught me so much about the love between mother and child, and she has been a wonderful example for the kind of mother I want to be to Logan. My first Mother's Day was better than I could ever have imagined, and I am so lucky to have such a perfect little family! :)

Back to Tummy

April 28th was a very eventful day for Mr. Logan. Not only did he experience his very first bottle, but he also rolled over from his back onto his stomach for the first time. He is a very strong baby. When he was only four weeks old, he started randomly rolling over from his tummy onto his back, which I've been told is an exceptionally young age. Going from the back to tummy, however, uses different muscles and normally takes much longer to master. We always give Logan his required approximately 15-20 of daily tummy time, usually divided into five or so minute sessions. He likes it for a while, but then he is suddenly over it and lets us know immediately by wailing at an admirably loud volume! And he has to be in the mood for tummy time. Well, let me tell you, he is definitely NOT in the mood for it in the middle of the night. Starting on the 28th, and every night since then, he somehow keeps repeatedly rolling over onto his stomach in his sleep. Thank God it jars him awake almost immediately, because I have read so much about how babies who sleep on their tummies are at a higher risk for SIDS. It must scare him awake, but all of a sudden, we'll be awakened by his frantic screaming. Right now, he thinks of tummy time as exercise, where he always is using his muscles to keep his head up. I'll either put toys in front of him, put the portable DVD player down and pop in a Baby Einstein DVD, or even entertain him by dancing and singing like a crazy lady while he stares up at me and grins. In any event, he doesn't yet know how to relax during tummy time. So he keeps waking himself up, because his face will be smashed up against the sheet, and he'll have to use his neck and shoulder muscles to keep his head up to breath. For the first three nights, he woke me up about every 1-2 hours doing this, and sometimes every 10 minutes, and of course, the night before my first day back at work was one of them. Finally, on day number 4, he learned to turn his head either to the left or the right, so he can relax and sleep peacefully on his stomach, and he hasn't woken up for that reason since. The only problem is that I'm all worried about him sleeping on his stomach now, so I keep waking up to check on him. And almost every time, he's back on his tummy, and once again, I'll turn him back over onto his back. My books say that once a baby can turn over onto his stomach, there's nothing you can do about it, but I still can't help but worry. At least he now realizes how to turn his head so he can breathe, and I do feel confident that if he ever starts to feel suffocated, he'll be able to wail pretty quickly to let me know he's struggling. I guess this issue is something that every parent deals with at some point. Logan is such an exceptionally strong guy, that I know he'll be fine; however, as a mother, I just can't help but worry. Remember the saying, "worrying is what a mother does best?". Well, I actually understand that now! :)

On a side note, this past week he has really discovered and started playing with his feet. Also, yesterday and today he's begun to really raise his head when he's on his back, into almost like a half stomach crunch position. Zack and I feel it won't be long before he's sitting up all by himself. Finally, for the first time this evening, he took his paci out of his mouth all by himself, extended him arm out fully and looked at it for a few minutes, then slowly and quite awkwardly managed to put it back into his mouth. I was very proud of him! He is really starting to develop his eye hand coordination.

The Bottle

Well, we finally had no choice but to introduce the bottle to our little man, since I had to start work yesterday. Thankfully, however, I only have to work 3 days this week, as a way to slowly wean back into the work routine. We are also fortunate in that I am able to come home to nurse during lunch, so he will only have one bottle feeding in the afternoon. In any event, all books advise someone other than the mother to give the bottle. I have been pumping for about two months and storing it in the freezer, just in case I get sick and have to "pump and dump". On April 28th, Zack gave Logan his very first bottle, and we were able to capture it on video as well. I was afraid this process was going to take a very long time, since he has breastfed exclusively for 4 1/2 months. He actually took it pretty well! Call me overemotional, but I teared up a little as I watched him take the bottle. It might be difficult to explain to those who have never experienced the emotional bond formed over nursing your baby, and of course I wanted him to take the bottle, so he will be ok when I'm not there, but there was definitely a small, selfish part of me that wished he would refuse it. I absolutely love all those countless, precious moments spent with him, skin to skin, so close to each other, and I beyond doubt will miss them in the not so distant future when he becomes too big to nurse. I guess I got both my wishes. After about two minutes of sucking from the bottle, he did get a little fussy and decided he was done. Since that first time, either my mom or Zack has given him the bottle about four more times. I can't help but smile just a little when he gets visibly angry that he has to take "second best". His pattern so far is to take the bottle for a few seconds, swallow, then scream with his little beat red face, making sure to let us know that he's not very happy about the new arrangement, then he'll drink for a few more seconds, get angry some more, drink again and so on. I do appreciate the fact that he is also missing his bonding time with Mommy, and I also find it humorous that even when he's mad, Logan still manages to drink it all. He's not our chubby little dude for no reason! :) When I came home from work last night, he didn't even want to play with me. The second I held him he grabbed for my breast like his life depended on it, and he wanted to latch on for most of the remaining night. It made me feel good to know I was missed, although he made it very clear what part of me he missed the most. :)

Baptism

Well, the past week has been crazy hectic! Logan was baptized on Sunday, April 25th, 2010 at 12:00 noon. He looked absolutely precious in his little white baptism suit, cap and cross shoes. Although he didn't use it during the ceremony, since it was so hot inside, we did bring my white christening blanket, which created a very special touch. The ceremony was really special and intimate and took place in the Cathedral of Christ the King chapel. Father Kissel performed the sacrament, which was lovely considering he was also a co-officiant at our wedding. We chose one of my best friends and former bridesmaid Kelly Breymeier to be the godmother, and Richard Brandt, Zack's uncle and one of his former groomsmen, to be the godfather. I nursed Logan right up until the ceremony began, so he actually fell asleep for the entire thing! He was a perfect angel, and he didn't even wake up when Father Kissel poured water over his forehead (but he did twitch his face a little bit)! Almost all of Zack's mom's family attended, with the exception of Gina's family, and Zack's immediate family on his dad's side also came. I was really fortunate to have several family members fly down from New Jersey for the occasion- my first cousin once removed Tricia, my sister, niece and nephew, and my Nana. I was so happy that my Nana got to come down and meet her great-grandson. She has not been feeling well after her recent strokes, and I was so afraid that he might never get to meet her. I made sure to take lots of pictures, as well as some video, of the two of them together. After the ceremony, we had a wonderful party at my parent's house. There was all kinds of delicious food- smoked salmon dip, meatballs, spinach and artichoke dip, veggies and a greek taziki sauce, a cheese and ground turkey dip, a honey baked ham, turkey cranberry biscuits, delicious fresh strawberries, yummy brownies and of course, a cross baptism cake from Publix. Logan received all kinds of neat gifts, including the following personalized items: a bible, two picture frames, a photo album and a wooden cross. He also got tons of clothes, a stuffed animal, a digital picture frame, money for his college fund and several sweet cards (I saved them all). The little dude was so sweet the whole day, even though he missed his nap and is starting to teeth, and I'm sure his head was hurting from his terrible fall the afternoon before. We are so happy and proud of our little baptized baby boy!

Emergency Room Trip

This past weekend, on Sunday, April 25th, Logan was baptized. The weekend was wonderful overall; however, we had a major scare the day before. I was in the shower, and my sister was watching Logan. I heard Logan start to cry hysterically, and so I shouted outside the door to make sure he was ok. I thought he was just getting fussy and needing his mommy. When I got out, Zack was holding Logan, who was still crying, and I immediately sensed something was wrong. Apparently, Kristin had let my 6 year old niece, Emma, hold Logan on the basement sofa, which was fine, except that she wasn't paying attention, and Emma accidentally dropped Logan head first onto the cement tile floor below. I was scared to death for my sweet baby. All kinds of horrible thoughts were going through my mind. We called the pediatrician, who asked if Logan got more upset when we touched the spot he fell on. Although he didn't go ballistic, he did start fussing every time we touched it, and the spot was red. All I could think of was how sensitive baby's heads are, and oh God what if something was really wrong? The doctor advised us to take him immediately to Egleston Children's Hospital, where poor Logan had to have a cat scan. The doctors said they needed to check for swelling and bleeding, which could indicate if there was any brain damage. I started crying, but Zack convinced me to hold it together and be strong for Logan. All I wanted to do my hold my baby, and it was so difficult for me to hand him over to the doctors. They wrapped him up tightly and then put him in the cat scan machine for five minutes, which seemed like an eternity. He had to remain completely still. I put his little "Logan" paci in his mouth, which had been dipped in sugar water, and I softly sang to him the entire time. I was right next to him, and he kept continuous eye contact with me during the whole procedure. As scared as I was, my heart warmed to know that he recognized his mama and knew I was right there beside him. I could tell he knew how much he was loved, and he seemed calm. Zack was also in the room, right next to me. We had to wait for what seemed like an eternity for the test results. Although Zack and I were worried sick, Mr. Logan actually began to laugh and smile and coo, and he wanted to practice "standing" on the table. Such a sweet boy! We must have had an angel looking out for us, because thank God, he was ok and there were no signs of brain damage of any kind. As we were driving home, the full weight of the seriousness hit me. All sorts of things could have happened when he fell directly on his head. He could have broken his neck, or been paralyzed or permanently brain damaged. For two days afterward, Logan was not quite himself. He seemed fussy, when he is normally an exceptionally happy baby unless he is hungry, tired or needs changing. We think he was probably suffering from a headache, but of course, he can't tell us what he is feeling. Even though my baby boy has only been on this earth for a little over four months, I could not ever nor would I ever want to imagine my life without him, and if something had happened to him, I would have done anything, and I mean anything, to make him better. I certainly understand the phrase, "Don't mess with a Mama Bear's cub." I love him so much that the thought of Logan experiencing pain felt like someone was stabbing my heart repeatedly. I would have given anything for it to have happened to me instead, and for him to not feel any pain. I know it was an accident, and unintentional, but it was preventable. Whenever I had let my niece hold Logan, I was always right there next to her, tense, watching every move and ready to grab him at any time. I know I can't dwell on the past, and I feel so blessed and fortunate that he is just fine, but I am still having a difficult time moving on. I keep remembering that fear of my son being hurt, and me not being able to do anything about it beside hold him close and kiss his sweet face over and over again. That horrible experience has made me appreciate and love my son even more, which I didn't think was even possible. He is God's greatest gift to me, and I thank Him every day for watching out and protecting my Logan. We are truly blessed.

Rice Cereal

Well, it has been awhile since my last blog post! So much has happened in the meantime. Logan had his 4 month checkup on April 19th. He weighed in at 15 pounds and 5 ounces and 26 inches long. The doctor said he was extremely strong for his age, and he also told us to begin giving him a small amount (1 tbsp) of rice cereal mixed with breast milk each day. Logan exhibited all the major signs that indicate a baby is ready to begin solids. He holds his head up well, can move his tongue around without pushing food back out, and shows extreme interest watching me eat. The first day, April 20th, I made the rice cereal extra thin, and while Logan was sitting up in his Bumpo, Zack fed it to him. We used the Pottery Barn bowl that Grandmommie bought for Logan. He did so well and ate the whole thing! It was neat to watch him explore the texture with his tongue. It was perhaps a little too runny and kept dribbling down his chin, but he did keep down a good amount! The next day, and every day thereafter, I have made it much thicker, and he has not had any problems swallowing it. However, he does have to be in a good mood before I begin feeding him. If he's already really hungry, he won't take any cereal until I have nursed him for a little while. We learned that the hard way! Although he seems to somewhat enjoy the cereal, he still clearly doesn't like it as much as nursing. At this point, he still had not been introduced to the bottle! And somehow, every feeding, he manages to get rice cereal everywhere, and I do mean EVERYWHERE! How is it possible for him to get it behind his ears and up his nose? My son definitely knows how to vocalize when he doesn't like something, and he absolutely does NOT like when his mommy has to clean his face, neck, ears, hands and arms up with a wet cloth. :)

Easter

We had such a wonderful Easter with Logan. He looked absolutely precious in his blue seersucker overalls, white leather shoes and white Easter bunny hat. We started off the celebrations the day before, on Saturday, at the Druid Hills Golf Club Easter Egg Hunt with my parents. They also had a petting zoo, and Logan loved looking at all the animals. Next year, he will enjoy the animals even more, since he will be more aware and able to pet and even brush them. As it was during his morning nap time, he was very tired, and although he was good and not fussy, he was struggling to remain very attentive and even awake after a while. You could see him fighting to keep his eyes open, but there was just so much going on that he wanted to see! The Easter Egg Hunt was divided up into ages; he participated in the under 3 years. I helped him get a few eggs, basically just enough to fill his tiny basket. I must say, I was very impressed with his tight grip on his basket. He held it by himself during most of the hunt!
Then, right afterwards, during lunch, he was completely tuckered out and slept soundly in my arms the entire time.

The next day, we went to Easter Mass with my family at the Cathedral of Christ the King. I had Logan in a front carrier, and during the mass he let out a lovely "egg" of his own. Unfortunately, it went through his clothes and all over the carrier, so he wasn't able to wear his seersucker outfit over to Grandma's house, where we went next, and where, as usual, everyone continuously fought over who got to hold Logan! :) It's so wonderful to know that he has so much family that loves him to pieces! He did, however, get to wear his precious little "First Easter" onesie instead. He also got to participate in the traditional family egg hunt. The guys hid the money-filled plastic eggs all over the yard, and then the kids hunted for them. Logan and I went first, since he was the smallest, but we really didn't get much of a head start, since everyone else immediately pushed ahead. :) It's a serious hunt! Logan did very well for his first family Easter Egg Hunt- he racked up $14.86.

On Monday, one of my new favorite memories occurred. Zack and I took Logan outlet mall shopping. On the way home, after eating dinner at a bar-be-cue restaurant, I went back inside to use the restroom, and Zack put Logan in his lap on the front seat. It was fairly dark outside, and when I came back to the car, I knocked on the front door window. I wanted to see what Logan would do. He definitely noticed the noise, and as I kept knocking, he looked up and down, and all around, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from. Then, he looked in the correct direction at the window. After a few seconds, he noticed my face pressed up against the window, and as he recognized me, he immediately let out the cutest, widest, most absolutely adorable wide-mouthed grin and started laughing gleefully. It was such a sweet moment, and he was so happy to see me, that it tugged at my heart. Also, it was neat to watch him learn that he can look out the window and see things. Our little man brings us so much joy and love, and we are thankful each and every moment of every day that God brought him into our lives. He couldn't be more perfect!